You know those times when you’ve given in to something you really didn’t want to do?
Like eating handfuls of grated cheese while making dinner . . . or is that just me?
Time and time again I’ve promised myself that I’d stay away from the cheese.
I’ve tried eating small snacks before starting dinner prep, chewing gum, having a plate of veggies to snack on … you know, all the tricks.
But nothing worked and once again I’ve found myself eating behind my own back.
This was seriously so confusing and exhausting to say the least.
Perhaps cheese hasn’t been your struggle but I have a pretty strong suspicion that you’ve also made, and broken, promises to yourself.
It feels rough doesn’t it?
I get it.
Ok, so here’s something amazing which has totally changed things for me.
The truth is none of us are broken when it comes to this issue. We’re simply having urges and haven’t been taught how to deal with them effectively.
For the most part when people have urges they do two things.
1 – Try to resist them
2 – Give in
Like all feelings, every urge is caused by a thought.
For me, common cheese thoughts are:
- “My kids are fighting and mmm that cheese looks good”
- “Eating that piece of cheese smothered in lasagna sauce would be delish”
- “ Screw it, it’s been a long day and I deserve some cheese”
When urges arise it’s not the not doing it that’s hard, but rather, it’s dealing with the feelings that come up when you don’t give in.
Deprivation, frustration, fatigue, anger … do any of these sound familiar?
Here’s the thing – urges are similar to your kid begging for a cookie over and over again in Costco.
If you reward your child’s persistence by giving them the cookie it reinforces their behaviour.
Yet, if you resist their begging your tolerance will be shot, and you’ll most likely give in from meer exhaustion.
Kids know that they can wear us down – and so does your mind.
And, just like with your kids, when you reward your urges it only perpetuates them.
So, here’s what can you do.
Just allow it
Allow your kids to beg without giving them attention.
And allow your urges to come and flow through you without resisting or acting on them.
Be prepared – it’s going to feel horrible.
I feel complete anxiety when I don’t give in to cheese. My chest tightens and for a time it feels like I’m going to lose control.
But then, the urge slips away and I often forget about it.
It actually amazes me how something so strong can just – dissipate.
So, when you’ve promised yourself not to do something and your thoughts start creating drama – you can simply allow it all.
Feelings are only vibrations flowing through your body.
They won’t kill you and you, as a human, have the capacity to feel every single emotion that comes your way.
I promise you, you can!
What is it that you struggle with?
I encourage you to choose one urge that often comes up and try this out.
Don’t resist or comply – simply allow it along with all those emotions that will come up by doing so.
Have your own back in this – it’s not easy work but it’s so freeing.
You’ve got this!
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