Life Lessons From a Rotting Avocado

Life Lessons From a Rotting Avocado

A dream recently brought me to my Grandma’s kitchen.  

I was searching in the treat cupboard for the chocolate covered almonds (lovingly called ‘moose turds’) that Grandma always had stashed away.

But, to my dismay, in place of my childhood favorite was one lone avocado.

I touched it and felt its flesh crumble – it was rotten.

When I pulled it out I saw that it was black and moldy on one side yet perfectly ripe on the other.

And, as I stood there the ripe side started to quickly rot.

I was overwhelmed with emotion knowing that I couldn’t stop it.

I couldn’t bring it back to life just like I couldn’t bring back my grandparents.

They were gone forever and all that was left was this rotting avocado.

I woke up in a heavy sweat and crying.

My heart felt broken.

Now, in reality my Grandma is suffering with dementia and living in a home.

I haven’t talked with her in over a year and every time I think about calling my chest tightens with anxiety.

The thought of losing her brings up a slew of raw feelings that I’ve constantly been pushing away since her diagnosis.

But here’s the sad truth ~ in not calling Grandma I’m letting her go before she’s actually gone.

Grandpa has passed, but Grandma is here and my fear has created a premature disconnection that’s so unnecessary.

My dear Grandma is the perfectly ripened side of the avocado.  

She’s still here, yet fading, and If I don’t get over myself I’ll miss who she is at this stage in her life – which is just as precious and important as it was when she was of sound mind.

I’ve been coaching myself on this for the last few days and what I’ve decided is that I’m willing and fully able to feel all the feelings that’ll come up when I phone her.

It won’t be easy but I choose the hard because having her here is a gift that I don’t want to take lightly or throw away.

My 13 yr old self with Grandma

My friend, in what areas of your life are you resisting difficult emotions?  

Where are you not allowing yourself to truly live?

I guarantee that those areas, although scary, are also the ones that are also the most rich.

As humans we have the capacity to feel any emotion that comes our way.  From the deepest grief to the highest form of elation – you can experience it all.

My grandma may not know me or understand me but that doesn’t mean that I can’t still feel all the feelings I’ve ever felt for her along with the sadness in knowing that I’m slowly losing her.

I choose to feel all those feelings – this is what life is all about.

And I offer to you that you can as well.

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P.S. Feeling your feelings and living your life to the fullest is not easy – I get it.

I can also help you.

Go here to book a complimentary 1 hr consult where we’ll dive in deep to see what’s holding you back and create a plan to help you thrive.

2 thoughts on “Life Lessons From a Rotting Avocado”

  1. I have been dealing with similar emotions for a few years. I rarely see my grandma – my last living grandparent who lives within 20 mins from us. For many years, each time I saw her at a family event, I would promise her I will make an effort to see her before next family holiday. But I wouldn’t. Last March we celebrated her 90th birthday and I made the promise again. Then all of a sudden we were planning Christmas. I can give you every excuse in the book for why I wasn’t making her a priority in my life and it would be understandable, but it is also unacceptable (to me). So I finally pulled out the calendar and have marked ONE DAY each month where it says – Visit G.G. We travel to her little apartment, set up the kitchen table and play games with her for a few hours. She still has her wits about her (I’m SOOO sorry to hear about your Grams), but her hearing is poor. I’m grateful each time I kiss her goodbye that I got another few hours with her in my memory banks. And Tristan will grow up with close and intimate memories of his Great Grandma. What a gift!
    I went through another example of this just last week. My aunt in Saskatchen was diagnosed with breast cancer recently and went through surgery to remove it. I didn’t know how to call or what to say. I prayed and prayed on this anxiety and finally made the call. I was immedately honest with her about my delay and the difficulties I was having. It felt soooooooo good to hear her voice on the other end and her absolutely understanding about what I was feeling. These things are soooo HARD to accept/understand and the feelings seem impossible to navigate, but once you figure out how to do so, the very thing we have been avoiding actually becomes hard to avoid.
    Hugs for you and your Grandma! xoxoxoxox

    • Wow Sheri, thank you so much for sharing this. I love how you say that the very thing we have been avoiding actually becomes hard to avoid – that is such a powerful thought and one that I see has really changed your life. You are such a gift! xo

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